I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to come up with the words to convey my thoughts about VEISHEA, and about it being no longer. In job interviews, with my friends, with my classmates and teachers, I have always come up short. I don't know if I'll ever have all the words I want.
I am still angry and bitter about the way that my peers treated my hard work. I told my adviser a year ago that I felt personally attacked by people's actions during the "riot," if you can even call it that. I call it juvenile and irresponsible and rude and a lot of other things. People riot for causes and justice, not to aimlessly tear up the streets of the community that has provided a sanctuary for them.
I felt for the injured student's family and I felt shame for those involved. I understood why the university handled things the way they did. I don't think, to this point, that it has been justified through further actions.
The VEISHEA organization gave me direction in college when I was looking for new ways to be proud of myself. I met some amazing people who will feed the world, lead the world, and remain my best friends in the world. I fell in love. I spent two years spilling my whole heart into the celebrations that made this university proud.
The thing that I'm most upset about is not the lack of concerts or parade or lunch on campus or even not being able to be a part of something big during my last year of college. It is that I had so many dreams of moving on to do big things in this world, and someday bringing my family back here and showing them what I was most proud of during my time at Iowa State.
I am most upset because the thing that I am most proud of during my four years on this campus no longer exists.
I'll find new things to be proud of and the relationships that I have will be here for the long haul. I'm so thankful for all of the friends and love I found in that little office, but I still feel cheated out of my memories sometimes. I feel like they will always be bittersweet. I don't think a year can erase that.
