"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

(F.D.R.)

I can't stand the thought of living in fear. I understand that there are times when you have to be cautious... like, I for one, would never jump out of a plane. I am afraid of heights and I like the fact that planes are a pretty secure form of travel, and to top it all off I just don't think that sounds fun at all. I will however, jump off of a high dive if I sit and work up my courage long enough, or climb a rock wall. There are levels of fear that you should conquer.

That being said, conquering your fear is necessary to succeed. It's a crazy adrenaline rush that you'll never regret. If you don't apply for that job or talk to that cute guy for fear of rejection, you automatically lose. If you don't go for a run for fear that you'll be laughed at(been there, bro), you will never lose those last few pounds. Seriously, I notice this every day when I look in the mirror. But back on track, here is the point of my rant: you will never reach any great success if you don't ever take a risk.

Someday I want my kids to be proud of me, and I want to be proud of them. Would I let my son wrestle in the living room even though something might break, or he might get hurt? Yeah, every day. My brothers did it and got hurt countless times, but they're stronger men for it. They know how to defend themselves. It scared the shit out of my mom, and I know there will be times when I'm scared out of my mind but I can't live knowing there's more that I'll never experience because I'm scared.

If you decide not to do something for fear of what might happen, think instead of the kind of person you want to be and if this risk will help you to be that person.

Rejection will only help you grow to be a better person.
Take a risk and embrace change. The sun always rises on a new day.

My heartbreak lesson

Once, when I was in high school, there was this boy. I had been not so secretly crushing on him since 6th grade. Anyways, somehow our timing started to work.

After months and months of me slowly falling for him, he found someone else who apparently worked better for him. I didn't know at first, I just knew we weren't the same. I tried to win him back, and during one of the most stressful times of my life. When he made her official, I cut him out of my life completely. I wasn't strong enough to be his friend anymore. After 6 years of always having him to go to when I needed someone to explain life, I was lost. I had alienated myself trying to make him want me back. I was barely 18 and I didn't know what I had done wrong. I cried in the shower, in my classes, on the couch next to my mom, before I fell asleep. Everyone hates feeling like they aren't good enough. But I learned. I learned to put my dreams first, and let the rest fall into place.

One of the last things heartbreak boy said to me, when he realized I was falling apart, was something along the lines of: "If they think you aren't good enough, you don't need them in your life." He had no idea.
So I let him go. I let them all go. And it was the best thing I ever did.  And I would do it again, any time. Every time. He apologized, 5 months later. And still, I talk about him way too much. I compare every situation to that situation. He would tell you that we're friends, but since he apologized, we've talked a handful of times. We are not friends, he was a lesson I learned.

I don't have to be good enough for him. I don't have to be good enough for any of you. I have to be good enough for me. I'm not, not yet. But I will get there. and when I do, I hope all the people who I was never good enough for look at me and change their minds. But I won't care. I won't even notice. I'll be too distracted by all the people and things who were always there.

Let's finish our Monday off with this:

life of a working girl

I had a whole other blog ready to go and be posted, but this one is just too important.

So this semester I started a new job at the gym. I actually love it because I just clean and people watch and read the Daily the whole time. Anyways, There are a few things I seem to notice happening way too often.

1. Girls with big boobs don't understand how to keep them under control. I mean, it is not that hard of a concept. Chances are you've had those puppies for a while, you should really be used to them. Also, you should understand what a gift they are. I mean, mine are on the bigger side of average which I feel thoroughly blessed about, but these girls are like... when they run, I dont know how they dont get hit in the face with their own chest. If you can't buy a decent sports bra, at least wear 2 cheap ones.

2. Guys feel the need to lift way too much weight. If you have to grunt like you're trying to take a shit for the first time in a year when you lift, you need to take some weights off. You really aren't helping yourself at all. No one in the gym wants to hear you sound like you just can't finish it off. Also, you are not a personal trainer. I don't care if that guy said he thought you had huge biceps, that doesn't mean that you need to take him around the gym showing him your routine, the poor guy is too nice to walk away. Also, your biceps aren't much, trust me.

3. Wrestling practice starts around 4:30. Since the wrestling room here is under construction, they do it right in plain view from the mezzanine. between 4:30 and 5:30 you can find me washing windows or cleaning the railing on the track. Because watching wrestling practice while getting paid is like the coolest thing that has ever happened to me.

4. Finally, far too many people get all dolled up to go to the gym. Like seriously, dudes too. You don't need all that hair product and your skin tight clothing to lift weights and look at yourself. You know what, while I'm at it, stop looking at yourself in the mirrors! It's weird. wait til you get home to stare at yourself and flex, you're freaking me out.

This has been an announcement from your friendly neighborhood Rec Services worker :)

The love of my life.

I write a blog every week pretty much about girls and boys and relationships... and this one is no different.

This is my post about my relationship. with thousands of boys. because, my loves, FOOTBALL SEASON IS BACK!!!

Let me tell you a little bit about them. 

1- My younger brother Zack is 18 and a Senior at my old high school(he is also a twin, but Lukey gets another post later.) He's starting varsity for the Rockets this year, and I couldn't be more proud of all that he's worked for! He has big dreams and I love to watch him play. Every Thursday, I send him my good luck wishes and I'm always looking for new inspirations for him, so let me know if you have any!

2- My step dad moved to the midwest to marry my mom when I was 8 from Boston. It wasn't hard for him to convince an 8-year-old to cheer for the Pats. But as I grew and watched and visited and learned, I loved the Patriots all on my own. They were all the values I held dear-determination, teamwork, and pride. They played for the love of the game(okay, the millions too, whatever) and for the people who would kill to take their place. So try to tell me that Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback in America and I will tell you how Tom Brady taught me how to lead a crowd and made me the person I am today.

3- Finally, I am an Iowa State Cyclone and I love every second of my life here in Ames! This week is the annual CyHawk rivalry game, and I have spent a lot of time working on my arguments for this game. First, let me tell you that I am NOT a fan of trash talk and never have been. I don't see why you can't simply cheer for your team and let me cheer for mine. I believe in cheering FOR my team, not AGAINST the other team. But on that note, this weekend I will be cheering for the team that gave me countless memories and opportunities, the team that stood behind mine, and the team that plays for every person in the stadium, not just themselves. That is why I love being a Cyclone, and I can promise you that I always will be.

At the end of the day, Football is about my family, my values, and everything I am and hope to be. It's not just a game. It's an escape and it's a reality that I hope to live and love. Good luck to all the athletes this fall!