After months and months of me slowly falling for him, he found someone else who apparently worked better for him. I didn't know at first, I just knew we weren't the same. I tried to win him back, and during one of the most stressful times of my life. When he made her official, I cut him out of my life completely. I wasn't strong enough to be his friend anymore. After 6 years of always having him to go to when I needed someone to explain life, I was lost. I had alienated myself trying to make him want me back. I was barely 18 and I didn't know what I had done wrong. I cried in the shower, in my classes, on the couch next to my mom, before I fell asleep. Everyone hates feeling like they aren't good enough. But I learned. I learned to put my dreams first, and let the rest fall into place.
One of the last things heartbreak boy said to me, when he realized I was falling apart, was something along the lines of: "If they think you aren't good enough, you don't need them in your life." He had no idea.
So I let him go. I let them all go. And it was the best thing I ever did. And I would do it again, any time. Every time. He apologized, 5 months later. And still, I talk about him way too much. I compare every situation to that situation. He would tell you that we're friends, but since he apologized, we've talked a handful of times. We are not friends, he was a lesson I learned.
I don't have to be good enough for him. I don't have to be good enough for any of you. I have to be good enough for me. I'm not, not yet. But I will get there. and when I do, I hope all the people who I was never good enough for look at me and change their minds. But I won't care. I won't even notice. I'll be too distracted by all the people and things who were always there.
Amen sister.
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