A day in the life of a ~*recent college grad*~

Look, I've been trying to find the perfect job for months. I know I have the skills, but so far I haven't had luck or timing on my side to find the perfect "just out of college" job (meaning, for whatever reason, I haven't been the right candidate for the job so far.)

But it's not like I do nothing all day. I actually lead a pretty exciting life. Here's a rundown. (All times are rough estimates, especially the waking up part.)

9:30- Wake up. Check phone. Nothing. Lay in bed.

9:35- Check Instagram. People are doing things with their lives, so I should too. Continue laying in bed.

10 a.m.- Get up, contemplate breakfast options. Typically choose Fruity Pebbles. No clean bowls or spoons though, so do some dishes.

10:20- Turn on the TV and space off watching garbage. Periodically refill water. Constantly refresh Twitter on your phone hoping anything good shows up.

11:30- Realize lunchtime is soon. Start thinking about lunch. Sandwich again? Chef Boyardee? Salad? Maybe cereal for lunch too. 

11:35- Wash another dish because you can't figure out what to eat.

11:40-Still haven't showered. Do that while you think about lunch some more.

11:50- Attempt to "clean up" whatever unnecessary mess that showed up in the bathroom throughout the morning. Text your mom and ask her about something random, like marinades for dinner.

Noon- Sit on the couch with a towel on your head for the next 15-20 minutes. Find out what time Reba comes on. Watch Instagram videos of people's European vacations and wish you could travel since you're not even working.

12:30- Make a sandwich. Try to enjoy it.

12:45- Notice some kids riding their bikes outside. Run to see if they were wearing helmets. They were. Wonder why they're not at school. Is school out? Huh.

1:00- Scour the internet for more jobs to apply for. End up with 20 tabs open to potential job options.

1:25- Go through them to find out that you qualify for maybe three of them(on a good day), but one is unpaid. Apply for whatever is left. 

2:00- Reba is on. Enjoy cheap laughs while you apply for jobs. Periodically refill water glass and wash a dish or two.

2:30- Eat some popcorn from a bag while you think about dinner. Eating out sounds good. Anything that involves leaving the apartment and human interaction sounds good. Remember you don't have an income. Settle for making a new recipe.

3:00- Blow dry your mostly dry hair, and then just put it all up anyway.

3:15- Refresh Twitter. See a super cute puppy and want to get a puppy. Realize you can't get a puppy because you have a year-long lease and no income, and put that dream to rest.

3:30- Load the dishwasher with the rest of the dishes and actually start it this time. Make a grocery list. Cross most of it off, because you don't have an income.

3:45- Get in car to go to the store. Remember it really needs to be cleaned. Make a mental list of things you can do when you're bored later (Go to the car wash, clean the bathroom, do laundry, go for a run, update your iTunes, organize your shoes, read a new book....Maybe this isn't so bad?)

4:00- Arrive at the store. Check your list, find coupons, gather items. People watch while you wander around. Check for cookies. Get the cookies because you need more things that bring you joy. Check out.

4:40- Contemplate getting a hot dog but choose to go home.

5:00- Get home. Turn on some show on TLC. Make dinner. Eat dinner in one of three places: table, couch, or outside. Choose wisely.


6:30- Halfway clean up dinner and think about going for a walk, but notice some movie you've seen three times is on TV, so watch that instead. Get sucked into the TV for the rest of the night.

9:00- Relinquish the remote because you cannot be in charge of choosing from the garbage on the guide page any longer.

11:00- Go to bed. You've got a big day tomorrow!


Okay, truthfully, there are good and bad things about not working. I don't have to look presentable, or even wear pants. But what the last four years have taught me is that I'm full of untapped potential. The job hunt is what you make it. Enjoy the break, but try to stay motivated.

A year later

I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to come up with the words to convey my thoughts about VEISHEA, and about it being no longer. In job interviews, with my friends, with my classmates and teachers, I have always come up short. I don't know if I'll ever have all the words I want.

I am still angry and bitter about the way that my peers treated my hard work. I told my adviser a year ago that I felt personally attacked by people's actions during the "riot," if you can even call it that. I call it juvenile and irresponsible and rude and a lot of other things. People riot for causes and justice, not to aimlessly tear up the streets of the community that has provided a sanctuary for them.

I felt for the injured student's family and I felt shame for those involved. I understood why the university handled things the way they did. I don't think, to this point, that it has been justified through further actions.

The VEISHEA organization gave me direction in college when I was looking for new ways to be proud of myself. I met some amazing people who will feed the world, lead the world, and remain my best friends in the world. I fell in love. I spent two years spilling my whole heart into the celebrations that made this university proud.

The thing that I'm most upset about is not the lack of concerts or parade or lunch on campus or even not being able to be a part of something big during my last year of college. It is that I had so many dreams of moving on to do big things in this world, and someday bringing my family back here and showing them what I was most proud of during my time at Iowa State.

I am most upset because the thing that I am most proud of during my four years on this campus no longer exists.

I'll find new things to be proud of and the relationships that I have will be here for the long haul. I'm so thankful for all of the friends and love I found in that little office, but I still feel cheated out of my memories sometimes. I feel like they will always be bittersweet. I don't think a year can erase that.

You can't be an expert at everything

Something I like to do is set vague goals for myself every school year. This way, I get to go on binges of bettering myself, but if I don't necessarily do anything HUGE, I still gain something. For example, freshman year I worked on time management and sophomore year I got more involved.

This year, I'm working on finding my expertise. I love sports, I love social media, and I love finding people who share my passions. It's a journey, but I know there's a way to combine those things and make myself marketable for my dream career.

One thing that I find myself learning along the way is that I want to do everything myself. That way, I know that it's getting done and that it will be the way I want it. I've never thought of myself as a control freak, but the reality is, I am a HUGE control freak. I want all of the information, I want it in advance, and I want everyone to work with me on it. And honestly, I'm okay with it as long as I know that I'm the person who can do the BEST job.

The hardest lesson I've learned, though, is that I'm not always that person. You can't be an expert on everything, and why would you want to? No one likes a know-it-all. You can, however, take a step back. Let everyone weigh in! You can bounce ideas around, combine them to build something great, and if someone comes up with a solid plan, let them take the lead. Being a part of a team can be just as great of an experience as taking the lead, and you get the chance to learn from someone else's skill set.

I try (and fail a lot!) to take everything day by day and not be so hard on myself. Like I said, it's a journey, but this is what college years are for. Have fun and learn! You'll never regret it.

xox, Alexa

I want to punch someone in the face

I am really frustrated today. Don't my professors realize that I don't have time to do guesswork? I cannot sit here and research what you're looking for from this assignment. How hard is it to just give us a sample and a rubric? Not a template, that means nothing to me. UGH.

To my professors:

No, I can't spend weekends working on your assignments. I work 3/4 weekends a month and I travel because I'm in college, this is when it's possible, and the only person who can keep me sane is 3 hours away. So no, I don't have time on the weekends to work on things other than my actual job.

You make me mad at you, you make me mad at education, and you make me mad at myself. This is a great way to break down your students' confidence levels! If that's the goal, I hope you know you've achieved it.

I have been doing so well this semester staying on top of things, and in one badly set-up assignment, you have crushed all pride I had in myself.

SO THANK YOU. I'll take this as your resignation of credibility as a decent professor. or person.

Sincerely, Alexa

Case of the Mondays?

I've been really blessed lately to get so many amazing opportunities and be able to have so many great people in my life. I have a new job, I got to keep my old job, I have a new committee position, I'm in some really great classes, and of course I have my boyfriend, friends, and family to help me fill my empty spots. I feel so overwhelmed with excitement and luck that these opportunities and people have found me and that I'm getting all these great parts of a college experience.
But.
I feel SO OVERWHELMED. I work seven days a week most weeks and when I'm not working I'm still thinking about it and planning for it and squeezing in homework because without a degree it will all be for nothing. To be fair, I can't help but do more than I'm asked sometimes. If I have an interest, it becomes a priority, but I usually notice that it pays off.
It's a struggle sometimes because I can't even seem to relax with the things that I love, like my family or football games or a drive. They're all just starting to be things that take up precious time. People expect me to make time and be social and they get hurt when they're not a priority.
Being in a long distance relationship has as many stress factors as it does rewards. When was the last time I actually called him? What did we talk about? Did I tell him about that thing that my mom said? Did I invite him to that thing that I know we can't make anyways? Does he think I'm certifiably insane yet? I seriously never know.

I'm trying to focus on the positives and make sure to remember my goals, and I'm feeling pretty confident in myself lately simply because of the fact that I have goals.
I have trouble asking for help and I don't like when people let others control their lives. But I've been so fortunate to have met someone who helps me structure mine and helps me set and achieve my goals even when he doesn't know it.

I know it's cliche, but I really do learn new things every day. I struggle but I see the payoff.

It's going to be worth it. :)

Things my little brothers should know

Most people don't know this, but being a big sister is a full time job. It's like being a part time mom, if you ask me. I worry about my brothers constantly. I only have little brothers, and thank the Lord cause I would not have been nice to a sister. Last week I texted the older boys and said that I just wanted them to know that I love them and I'm proud of them.
In predictable Luke fashion, I got no reply. Background story: Luke says he hates me. He'll tell anyone without even hesitating. Sometimes I believe him. He also had just had a....run in with the law at an Iowa game and I was most disappointed that he was at a Hawkeye game. Then again he thought I went to Illinois State for like 5 months.
Zack actually texted me back, as he usually does. His reply? "For what?" and I had to laugh, because sometimes I ask that too. Kid gets it.
Dan is nine and my bestie for life so I just sent him a telepathic message. Never heard back.

In reality though, they're my favorite things about me and everyone knows it. So my blog is a list of things little brothers should know. Or really, things that all younger siblings should know.

1. You came into our lives without our consent and we're still bitter about it. But we're also glad that Mom and Dad knew better than we did.

2. At one point, we tried to trade you for someone else's cooler, cuter sibling. We cut it off before the deal was final, though, so you're welcome. 

3. We are siblings whether you like it or not. You can block me on Facebook and pretend you don't know me in public, but we have the same last name. People figure it out.

4. I don't care what anyone says, we share a gene pool and you are damn good looking. Haters gonna hate.

5. We will always take your side. Even if we know you're wrong. Unless you're fighting each other, then I take the little one's side cause we're small and it's not fair. 

6. We are older and smarter and that means that we are always right. Even when we're wrong. We won't back down, so drop it.

7. You are our first and our last best friends. Even if we never wanted to see/hear/smell you sometimes. (In the case of my brothers, you were there for me more than you knew. Z&L-through our parents' divorce, you were the only ones who were my equals. When I was young and scared or lonely, you squeezed me in your bed and then would never admit who peed on me. When everyone else was too busy, you weren't. D- you taught me to laugh and to play and how to be who I wanted to be. I don't think you three will ever understand how much I remember or how much it means to me now.)

8. We still remember every time we seriously injured you, and sometimes we're sorry. Other times we use the memories as fighting fuel in wrestling matches.

9. No one can make us mad like you can. But no one can make us as proud as you can. We know who you are deep down. We've seen you at your weakest. Hell, we've made you cry. We also saw you come back from it and we watched you grow up and learn and become real people. 

10. We love you. Even if you call us names, we love you. Even if you cheer for the wrong team, we love you. Even if you try to wrestle us, we love you. Even if you make bad choices, we love you. Even if we hate you, we love you. ESPECIALLY when you think we don't, we love you.

This just turned into Blogday Tuesday, but it's worth it. 

Heroes come in all forms.

I have mixed feelings about Taylor Swift

There. I said it.

There's no denying that she has talent as a songwriter.
Her songs are great... If anyone else sang them.
Her love life is embarrassing, and the fact that tons of little girls adore her grosses me out.
She just runs around getting her naive little heart broken by normal guys.
Actually, I don't even know if she's naive at this point or just stupid.

I feel really mean right now. (I hope someone catches that pun.)
But I just want her to grow up a little.
Not like drastically, she doesn't need to fast forward to 40.
But stop dating like a 15-year-old.
and dating 15-year-olds.


But I listened to like 3 of her songs today.
The fact of the matter is that I just wrote a whole blog about Taylor Swift.
That's probably just as sad.