Monday, September 23, 2013

Case of the Mondays?

I've been really blessed lately to get so many amazing opportunities and be able to have so many great people in my life. I have a new job, I got to keep my old job, I have a new committee position, I'm in some really great classes, and of course I have my boyfriend, friends, and family to help me fill my empty spots. I feel so overwhelmed with excitement and luck that these opportunities and people have found me and that I'm getting all these great parts of a college experience.
But.
I feel SO OVERWHELMED. I work seven days a week most weeks and when I'm not working I'm still thinking about it and planning for it and squeezing in homework because without a degree it will all be for nothing. To be fair, I can't help but do more than I'm asked sometimes. If I have an interest, it becomes a priority, but I usually notice that it pays off.
It's a struggle sometimes because I can't even seem to relax with the things that I love, like my family or football games or a drive. They're all just starting to be things that take up precious time. People expect me to make time and be social and they get hurt when they're not a priority.
Being in a long distance relationship has as many stress factors as it does rewards. When was the last time I actually called him? What did we talk about? Did I tell him about that thing that my mom said? Did I invite him to that thing that I know we can't make anyways? Does he think I'm certifiably insane yet? I seriously never know.

I'm trying to focus on the positives and make sure to remember my goals, and I'm feeling pretty confident in myself lately simply because of the fact that I have goals.
I have trouble asking for help and I don't like when people let others control their lives. But I've been so fortunate to have met someone who helps me structure mine and helps me set and achieve my goals even when he doesn't know it.

I know it's cliche, but I really do learn new things every day. I struggle but I see the payoff.

It's going to be worth it. :)

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