Shit babies do that I wish I could get away with

I don't know where this is coming from, but just roll with it.

So babies get to sleep anywhere and whenever they want and I just wish I could still do that. First of all, it's frowned upon unless you're a hobo, and even though I look like one 90% of the time, I'm actually not. Also, I wish I could just fall asleep anywhere... I can never get comfortable. And no matter how many times I ask, no one will hold me. weird.

Also, babies get to go around wearing no pants and people are like "how cute is he/she?!" and they talk about their adorable fat legs and I'm like... I'd like to wear no pants and have y'all think my fat legs are adorable... would that be alright? Also diapers= no need to make 50 bathroom breaks after a Kum & Go drink deal. When will that be socially acceptable?

Speaking of socially acceptable, babies get to be carried everywhere. Also, they can just crawl around in grocery stores and really right through life. and people just go with it. And like, I'm pretty lazy too.. but I get hardcore judged if I like crawl across the aisle in a lecture hall to grab my pencil off the floor.

Lastly, I really wish I could go back to taking baths in sinks. They appear to be way more fun, you always have company, and there are bubbles and toys and there are sinks everywhere... never need to make a special trip home just to bathe. It would be ideal.

Babies got it good, yo.